I was recently sent this, and if you know anything about SA cricket I’m sure you’ll find it pretty damned funny:
There are a few rules to every Smith acceptance speech and we’re going to run through them. You could set a clock to this guy. Here are the rules for writing your own Graham Smith acceptance speech:
Begin with “Ja, no the boys showed a lot of character out there”
Move on to: “Ja there are still a few things to iron out”
Thereafter, you need to mention the individuals that performed really well on the day, and add a “Y” to the end of their names:
“Ja for sure, Kempy, Hally, Polly, and Macky really did a great jobby”
Then say “The Boys” a further 10 times, throwing in verbs like “rallying”, “support”, “teamwork” and “getting behind each other”.
Rattle off something about “moving forward” and “awesome crowd support”.
Don’t ever attempt to add any charm, wit, individuality or character to your speech. It needs to sound like a long voicemail greeting.